News Flash – Ohm’s Law Questioned

The following little satirical spoof was written during the George W. Bush Presidency when the Religious Right was pushing hard to get their creationist Trojan Horse called Intelligent Design included in high school biology textbooks.

News Flash!!!

Religious Right questions Ohm’s Law.
Says it’s “just a theory with no proof.”

WASHINGTON – Religious Right leaders James Dobson and Pat Robertson issued a joint statement today questioning the validity of Ohm’s Law.  In 1827 a German scientist named Georg Simon Ohm observed a mathematical relationship between voltage and current in an electric circuit and published his findings.  It became known as Ohm’s Law and is the basis of all electric and electronic circuit design.

There is no mathematical proof for Ohm’s Law.  Like most scientific theories, it is based on careful observations and measurements, verified by independent colleagues and peers in the scientific community.  This process is known as the Scientific Method and is the basis for most scientific knowledge accumulated throughout history.  Like Darwin’s Theory of  Evolution, Ohm’s Law has been verified by countless observations for almost two centuries.

Dobson and Robertson’s statement deplores the “lack of any definitive proof” for Ohm’s Law, and states that electrons are really “complete living beings created by God, ”  and that they should be “free to pursue their own individual spiritual destiny.”  They cite the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle as evidence that science does not really understand the nature of electrons.  “They can’t even say for sure where it is or how fast it’s going,” Dobson said.  “How can they claim that their unproven theory is correct?”  The joint statement further stated that this is just one more example of “…secular liberalism’s attempts to eliminate God from nature.”  The statement demands that high school physics classes immediately modify their curriculum to include discussion of God in electrical circuits.  President Bush issued a statement supporting the teaching of “both sides of the controversy.”

The comment by Bush was an actual answer to a question about Intelligent Design, and was at least as absurd as the one that I put in the mouths of Dobson and Robertson above.  They are both equivalent to demanding that astrology and alchemy be given equal time in astronomy and chemistry classes.  Only true haters of science would make such demands.

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